Years ago, someone asked my wife, Elysha, when she first started falling in love with me.

Thankfully, I was standing beside her when this question was asked. 

My assumption, of course, was that she took one look at me, swooned, and fell head over heels in love.

This, it turns out, was not the case. 

“I think I first started falling for him in Chilli’s,” Elysha said.

Not the answer I was hoping for. 

We were both teaching elementary school at the time, one door apart from each other. We were colleagues and friends, but we weren’t yet dating. I had a massive crush on Elysha, but I had assumed from the moment we first met that she was way out of my league. 

We were waiting to attend the school’s annual talent show. I was going to appear in a skit that would conclude with a student pouring a vat of oatmeal over my head. 

Elysha was sticking around to watch.

“Want to get some dinner?” she asked. 

I agreed. I was thrilled. 

Chilli’s was nearby. Not exactly the place to take a girl on a first date, but this wasn’t a date. Just two coworkers grabbing a bite before a show. 

During the course of that dinner, Elysha asked me questions, and I answered those questions with a story. Stories about my childhood. Stories about the years when I was homeless, jailed, and facing prison time. Stories about college. Working at McDonald’s. My friends and family.

Ask me a question, and I tell you a story. Even to this day. 

"That was the night I first started falling in love with Matt,” Elysha said. “I knew I had never met anyone like him. His stories made it clear that he was a special person, and I thought we’d never run out of things to say to each other.”

Did you catch that?

Storytelling landed me the best spouse in the world. Storytelling told Elysha who I was and who I would be. Storytelling convinced her that I was an entertaining and interesting human being. Someone worthy of spending her life alongside. 

Elysha is a beautiful, intelligent, and funny person. She’s still out of my league today.

Yet she chose me, in part, because I was able to tell her vulnerable, entertaining stories about my life. 

When it comes to romance, you can swipe left and right, or you can find a way to connect with someone meaningfully and deeply by telling a story. Sharing of yourself. Making yourself known to another person. 

You can swim in the shallow end of the pool, or you can brave the deep waters and be real, honest, and vulnerable with another human being. 

And that’s the magic of storytelling—it brings people closer, sparks connections, and sometimes, even changes the course of our lives.

So this Valentine’s Day, whether you’re on a first date, sharing memories with a longtime partner, or simply strengthening the bonds of friendship, consider the power of a well-told story.